Playing with my heart.
Man, I love this girl. I really DO LOVE HER. It's not even funny anymore. Can't get stucked by looking at her, most look at her as long as I can. Want more. Too addicted to admit it to the rest of the classes on my study-line, even if it's so obvious for them. Like som guys in my temporary group for the "animationweek" said: Why don't you just get married?!
We both ignored that idiot-comment. But the more irritating is, she even ignored my explanation of what I really mean with all I do and say to her. She just wipped away all the words and signs like nothing. She didn't wanted to know. I felt bad of it immediately. Just wanted to cry it out loud, but in some way I just denied it instead ,maybe just to protect all strong feelings which have grown so fast?
I hate to see her with her friend E she's really ADDICTED to (all she almost everytime talks about is this E-girl). Then we got some guy she like too and I hate him too. Sorry for that. But the feeling of not being adequate, not a single drop, makes me just go somewhere and dig my own body down under layers of mud or similar. Why can't she just see the nice we're building up together? Is everything just a theater for her? Don't I fill any broken hole in her lonely, deep, beautiful soul? Maybe not, maybe I should let her just go and be free. I dunno. Hope she gets better 'til next week, she got a low fever last time I saw her at school. And she did infect me too with it, so now we're both sick, almost like taking a part of her home to my place. Man... I should search help for this crush, it's not normal!!!
We both ignored that idiot-comment. But the more irritating is, she even ignored my explanation of what I really mean with all I do and say to her. She just wipped away all the words and signs like nothing. She didn't wanted to know. I felt bad of it immediately. Just wanted to cry it out loud, but in some way I just denied it instead ,maybe just to protect all strong feelings which have grown so fast?
I hate to see her with her friend E she's really ADDICTED to (all she almost everytime talks about is this E-girl). Then we got some guy she like too and I hate him too. Sorry for that. But the feeling of not being adequate, not a single drop, makes me just go somewhere and dig my own body down under layers of mud or similar. Why can't she just see the nice we're building up together? Is everything just a theater for her? Don't I fill any broken hole in her lonely, deep, beautiful soul? Maybe not, maybe I should let her just go and be free. I dunno. Hope she gets better 'til next week, she got a low fever last time I saw her at school. And she did infect me too with it, so now we're both sick, almost like taking a part of her home to my place. Man... I should search help for this crush, it's not normal!!!
My hands is drowning in sweat.
Like they said in "Ugly Betty":
When your hands are all sweaty, your heart's pounding faster and your breath is taken away by looking at some special kind of person, then you might be in love for real.
That's exactly what's happened to me for not so long time ago. When I see her, I can't think as I normally do. I'm just starting to laugh out loud ,and then she's asking all over again and again; "What's so funny?" with a smile like a godness. Her chocolate brown eyes is expressing a pure kindness and her bushy coffee black hair standing out all over her cute face. My answer on that one is as usual 'nothing', with a silly grin. Then we're just containing our wierd fuzzy discussions, like no one else wasn't there. I'm so deeply in love that I can say without no doubts, that I would offer my life for her, if I had to.
But there's not only a dance on roses. I'm like nineteen years old now and she's ... only sixteen. With a father who owns her and her lovelife, he thinks. She can't date that and that kind of guy, AND if me and my friends got his kind of thinking right, NOT A GIRL EITHER! I hate this. I could die for her. And she's just too young (even if love is blinde, I MOST think realistic) and got too much hormons and less experiences of love than me. If I took her, would I be a mean person? If I robbed her on her first real lovelife-experience? Would that make me to the bad guy?
When your hands are all sweaty, your heart's pounding faster and your breath is taken away by looking at some special kind of person, then you might be in love for real.
That's exactly what's happened to me for not so long time ago. When I see her, I can't think as I normally do. I'm just starting to laugh out loud ,and then she's asking all over again and again; "What's so funny?" with a smile like a godness. Her chocolate brown eyes is expressing a pure kindness and her bushy coffee black hair standing out all over her cute face. My answer on that one is as usual 'nothing', with a silly grin. Then we're just containing our wierd fuzzy discussions, like no one else wasn't there. I'm so deeply in love that I can say without no doubts, that I would offer my life for her, if I had to.
But there's not only a dance on roses. I'm like nineteen years old now and she's ... only sixteen. With a father who owns her and her lovelife, he thinks. She can't date that and that kind of guy, AND if me and my friends got his kind of thinking right, NOT A GIRL EITHER! I hate this. I could die for her. And she's just too young (even if love is blinde, I MOST think realistic) and got too much hormons and less experiences of love than me. If I took her, would I be a mean person? If I robbed her on her first real lovelife-experience? Would that make me to the bad guy?