Playing with my heart.
Man, I love this girl. I really DO LOVE HER. It's not even funny anymore. Can't get stucked by looking at her, most look at her as long as I can. Want more. Too addicted to admit it to the rest of the classes on my study-line, even if it's so obvious for them. Like som guys in my temporary group for the "animationweek" said: Why don't you just get married?!
We both ignored that idiot-comment. But the more irritating is, she even ignored my explanation of what I really mean with all I do and say to her. She just wipped away all the words and signs like nothing. She didn't wanted to know. I felt bad of it immediately. Just wanted to cry it out loud, but in some way I just denied it instead ,maybe just to protect all strong feelings which have grown so fast?
I hate to see her with her friend E she's really ADDICTED to (all she almost everytime talks about is this E-girl). Then we got some guy she like too and I hate him too. Sorry for that. But the feeling of not being adequate, not a single drop, makes me just go somewhere and dig my own body down under layers of mud or similar. Why can't she just see the nice we're building up together? Is everything just a theater for her? Don't I fill any broken hole in her lonely, deep, beautiful soul? Maybe not, maybe I should let her just go and be free. I dunno. Hope she gets better 'til next week, she got a low fever last time I saw her at school. And she did infect me too with it, so now we're both sick, almost like taking a part of her home to my place. Man... I should search help for this crush, it's not normal!!!
We both ignored that idiot-comment. But the more irritating is, she even ignored my explanation of what I really mean with all I do and say to her. She just wipped away all the words and signs like nothing. She didn't wanted to know. I felt bad of it immediately. Just wanted to cry it out loud, but in some way I just denied it instead ,maybe just to protect all strong feelings which have grown so fast?
I hate to see her with her friend E she's really ADDICTED to (all she almost everytime talks about is this E-girl). Then we got some guy she like too and I hate him too. Sorry for that. But the feeling of not being adequate, not a single drop, makes me just go somewhere and dig my own body down under layers of mud or similar. Why can't she just see the nice we're building up together? Is everything just a theater for her? Don't I fill any broken hole in her lonely, deep, beautiful soul? Maybe not, maybe I should let her just go and be free. I dunno. Hope she gets better 'til next week, she got a low fever last time I saw her at school. And she did infect me too with it, so now we're both sick, almost like taking a part of her home to my place. Man... I should search help for this crush, it's not normal!!!